Entry 2: RE: "MIB3" - It Puts Me to "Sleep".

Posted by: Chad Van Alstin

Stop with your lies! I really didn't like this film at all. Since you are so important as to need two full posts worth of information, I'm only going to pick one thing to respond to for now -- Josh Brolin.

My finding value in his performance is like dropping a lollipop in the toilet -- you can still enjoy it, but really you're only making the best of a bad situation. Brolin is doing a pretty damn good impression of Tommy Lee Jones, and that's about as far as the praise goes.

He's a good actor. And the cast in this film is full of talent; however, even the few moments where they all shine can't make this a good film. I still just think it's important to point out the positive aspects of a film, assuming there are any.

I did forget to mention the Andy Worhol scene, and I'm glad you brought it up in your review. I found this scene to be rather funny. However, it all seemed like a gag fit for another film. it didn't really fit into the plot at all. Still, I find the work of Andy Worhol to be  pretentious -- pseudo-intellectual -- crap, and I laughed during this sequence. 

Still, these moments of decent comedy are few and far between. Most of the jokes seem to stem from the personality of Boris the Animal who, unlike you, I don't take seriously at all; his mannerisms just wear on me rather quickly.

Tommy Lee Jones Interview

I stumbled upon this interview with Tommy Lee Jones while looking for the source of a quote on Wikipedia, where he said about the possibility of a fourth (Please no) film in the franchise, "It's easy to pick up where we left off. We know what we are doing, we know hoe to do it. It's just a hell of a lot of fun."

From the first time I saw the trailer for Men in Black 3, I thought for sure that Tommy Lee Jones said he didn't want to do it, so they figured out a way to minimize his part. Chad mentioned in his review a similar feeling, and this has to be evidence that Jones had no desire to do a third Men in Black. Though Jones' lack of interest could possibly be the result of being asked what may be the worst set of questions imaginable.

Entry 1: RE: "MIB3" - A Mid-Summer Movie's Dream

Posted by: Bradley Redder

Well! What a change of tune! I was not expecting you to blast this movie so hard; when you walked out of it a few days ago and sent me a barrage of texts detailing how much you enjoyed it, I was sure you'd rate it at least three stars. I know that I've never said "It's brilliant science fiction with a hint of Shakespearean father-son tension that resolves in one of the sweetest moments on screen in years" about a movie and then turned around and gave it a star and a half. What changed since then? Did you sneak a peak at my review when it was still in draft yesterday and get worried that your comments were a bit over-the-top, get panicked and temper your praise for my sake? Please don't... You really don't have to do that; all opinions are welcome here. Maybe you saw something in it that I didn't. I'd certainly like you to delve more into your extensive comparison between this and the 19th century Transcendentalist movement... I just didn't see it.

In all seriousness, I honestly didn't see much to praise about Boris the Animal, which seems to be what you liked most. To me he felt a little too serious. He wasn't goofy enough for this ridiculous plot, and I didn't see any tongue-in-cheek in the performance, either. That's not a knock on Jemaine Clement (who I've really liked in everything I've seen him in); I actually didn't even know that was him until after the film, because he seems to just be covered in costume and CGI, preventing anything real from coming through. I'll agree on Josh Brolin, though. He did do a great Tommy Lee Jones impression, but I'm not sure how far that compliment goes in the context of the film, considering that that's kind of all it was.

Brolin seems to be the reason this film is being received fairly well, and I don't really understand it. Even if he was good, the rest of the film is so blank... I literally did gasp when I saw how much money was spent on it, and I do feel that there is a lot of talent involved that all seem to have forgotten to go with their collective gut on what is charming, clever, and funny, because MIBIII is seriously lacking in each of those in every way. It doesn't even take advantage of its time-travel premise all that well. It might have been interesting to see comparatively low-tech 60s high-tech MIB devices, but instead, Sonnenfeld seems to have followed the logic that a sequel has to be bigger rather than that of an earlier time means smaller, but then again, when someone throws an ungodly amount of money at you to make this movie, what choice do you have? What were those silly gyro-cycle thingies we both found to be the source of the most awkward and embarrassing Men in Black 3 promo photos on the Internet?

Full disclosure: I dozed off for about seven or eight minutes in the middle of this thing, and I didn't feel like waiting around a half hour to catch the minutes I missed at another screening at the theater. It was about forty minutes in and I wasn't enjoying the film very much, and then I decided that I was just going to let go of any expectations I might have brought in with me and just try to enjoy the film for what it is... No more than four minutes later I was sleeping, so I missed everything from the Coney Island fight to young K interrogating J. I came to as J was being loaded into the big neuralizer tube.

Did I miss anything important, maybe some of those Shakespeare scenes? Can you fill me in on what I slept through? Actually, never mind... Don't tell me. I think that in my dream state the film's most repeated line may have penetrated some inner-region of my brain, so I'll just refrain from asking questions I don't want to know the answers to.

Chad's Take: "Men in Black 3" - 1.5 Stars

When I arrived at the theater to see Men in Black 3, memories of the first film were at the forefront of my mind. However, I can't remember much about the second film at all. Where the first movie was a clever mix of action and comedy, the second film was just a collection of silly moments, none of which are funny enough to be very memorable.

I'm sad to say that the third film is no different. Men in Black 3 seems like one outrageous moment after another, connected by a story that is less than interesting.

A space villain, Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement), has broken out of prison and seeks vengeance against his arresting officer, Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). Boris travels back in time and kills a younger Agent K (Josh Brolin), which dooms all of mankind to a destruction by alien warships.

If you're confused, I apologize. I'm doing my very best to describe the plot as accurately as possible.

Will Smith reprises his role as Agent J, who also travels back in time to thwart Boris' plan. This whole time travel gimmick seems like a decent way to write Tommy Lee Jones out of the movie, since most of the film will feature Will Smith partnered up with Josh Brolin. It's rather strange to see Jones receive top billing; his screen time is quite limited.

Brad's Take: Men in Black 3 - *1/2

It's late. Much later than my normal review-writing time, and I'm tired, almost as tired of being awake as I am of thinking about Men in Black. Why is it so late? Because I've been sitting here staring at my computer, turning over in my mind the idea of posting the lyrics to Will Smith's theme song to the original Men in Black instead of writing an actual review. On the one hand, I think it would perfectly reflect my feelings on a film which doesn't really demonstrate any more effort beyond cutting and pasting something from somewhere else and calling it a night. But I'm not sure the statement would be effective without a thorough explanation even longer than this one, and it might put me in the position in which I'd come off as the asshole, rather than the team that led to me handing over fourteen hard-earned dollars to see this slop. It doesn't even have the integrity to be really awful, so that I could at least throw out some adjectives with a little emotion behind them. Nope. Instead it's just the hollow corpse of a once-clever and imaginative film.

I'm not too sure what Men in Black 3, or as I like to type it, MIBIII, is about, which is an eensie bit depressing considering how much time I have to imagine writer Etan Cohen spent developing the story for this overstuffed, undercooked turkey. He takes the modern approach to film comedy of creating such an overwhelmingly convoluted plot scenario that it just pounds the audience into submission trying to follow it that they don't even realize that almost none of it is funny. MIBIII seems to fancy itself more of a sci-fi film than a comedy, which would be fine if it raised any interesting quandaries worth pondering longer than it takes to say the name of the film's villain alien race, something like "Vocclorettabillunozenbrout." Wait... No, the simplicity of its ideas force me to the conclusion that it couldn't have been that long, but I remember it being equally nonsensical.

This leaves the film in that criminal territory of ridiculously over-budgeted comedy at (GASP!) $215 million. Money can't buy happiness, or humor apparently. MIBIII reeks of talented people who have simply lost their instinct for what is fun, or funny, and as a result, the film flounders haplessly, desperately grabbing onto anything that might lead to a laugh, and it's twisty time-travel plot means that what they get hold of is (Surprise!) historical anachronisms and a re-imagining of some historical figures and events. And aside from a scene where Bill Hader portrays Andy Warhol as an undercover agent who thinks his work is pretentious garbage, it all feels (Surprise!) as stale as you'd expect a sequel to Men in Black 2 to be, or as I like to type it, as MIBII II B. (In the interest of paralleling MIBIII's hackiness, I'll say that) I wish a man in black would have neuralized me after I walked out of the theater!

This Week's Movie - 5/28-6/3

Posted by: Bradley Redder

Men in Black 3

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

Written by Etan Cohen

Starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Alice Eve, Emma Thomson, Bill Hader

A big thank you to Tom Kaminski, who stepped in on extremely short notice last week for The Grey. A different perspective and valuable comments were much appreciated, especially when we asked him to do it at around midnight last Sunday.

And apologies to you for again posting this around, uh, midnight Sunday night, the announcement of our week's discussion topic, the unasked-for sequel to the unasked-for sequel to 1997's Men in Black. Chad is back, and, umm, uhhhh, ooh geez, mmmmm-WE'RE NOT EXPECTING MUCH! Phew... There, I said it. Trailer below, discussion all week...

Entry 3: RE: "The Grey" - Conceptual Canines

Posted by: Bradley Redder

Forgive the dry meandering, but I had to wake up very very early for a dentist's appointment this morning, and got precious little sleep. On top of that, the odd sensation of tartarless teeth has been a constant source of distraction, so I may not have all of my wits about me at the moment.

Great point about societal individualism influencing our film heroes, but I think it almost negates your earlier argument that The Grey's lapses in plausibility give it nothing cool, no visceral feeling. Now, I understand that this is all subjective and difficult to argue, but I'm going to do it anyway, given that I'm in the position to defend the film.

There have certainly been a lot of "extraordinary man in extraordinary situation" movies lately, many of them quite literally featuring extraordinary men (and a few women) with a dozen superhero movies being released every year. The Grey does not match that description, instead it features an "ordinary man in an extraordinary situation," an often much more interesting, though for some reason much less popular approach to heroism. An ordinary man in over his head essentially produces an underdog which, unless he happens to be obnoxious or abrasive or some other form of asshole, I think we are inherently drawn into caring about/rooting for.

Where I think most movies would simply settle for the basic underdog scenario, I think The Grey builds on it by fleshing out its characters, which only makes that underdog quality seem more intense, giving us a reason to want these guys to make it other than that they probably won't. In our reviews we both mentioned our impression of this film going into it, that it looked like a standard blood-thirsty action premise with wolves instead of guys with guns, but right from the start it sets itself apart from that with a five-minute prologue that sets up Neeson's broken, regretful, lost character. And then it surrounds him with ridiculously normal guys who carry on meaningless conversations, like normal guys do.

This is really starting to meander, so I'll just get to it. You say it's not visceral, but I say all of these things make it that much more visceral, even more so than a beast ripping your organs out is already. I think its absurd level of normalcy only contributes to the adrenaline rush it sometimes breaks out into. Even the moments in which the wolves attack  are ordinary... sitting by a fire talking about nothing special, taking a leak... these make it that much more immediate, because it's relatable. I bullshit around a fire; I piss outside, and seeing a giant wolf savagely ripping out a man's entrails while he does these things that I do all the time, rather than at the end of a long parkour chase (which certainly has its merits... make no mistake about it), makes The Grey that much more effective. How can you say you feel nothing for these poor guys, out there all alone, being hunted by wolves? Have you no heart?